Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
