Got a toothbrush?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
vagina is talking i cant
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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