If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
