I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize