belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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