just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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