So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
