pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
