Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
