I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
