Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
