I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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