So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
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