So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
