What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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