Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
