Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize