its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
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He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
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Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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