sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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