Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize