I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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