I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize