She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Let's get the cat blown out
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
