just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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