dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
