He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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