Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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