Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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