You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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