don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
