last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
