God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
