At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
