He is an equal opportunity slut.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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