I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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