can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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