I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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