so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
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"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
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Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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