You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
