I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Randomize
