K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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