omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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