You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize