its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
