she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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