I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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