I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
