smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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