when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
