at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
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Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
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I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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