guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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