I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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