just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize