im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
