My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
